I asked my followers on LinkedIn to vote for what topic they wanted me to write about next — and it’s not surprising they asked for “how to quiet your mind.” After all, we can’t be certain whether we’re coming out of the pandemic or going into another wave, some of you have worked at home and schooled children for an entire school year, and even if we want to go back to “normal,” we might not know how to get there anymore. So if your mind is racing or replaying worries on a loop, you’re not alone and you’re not broken. You just want to be able to let go of the noise and focus.
Let’s talk about how your brain works:
- Your brain is designed to keep you alive, which means it’s most highly attuned to threats, dangers and bad news. It filters through a perceived-risks lens — in other words, it’s critical.
- Your brain generates thoughts — an estimated 60,000 – 70,000 each day.
- As many as 85-90% of these thoughts are the same thoughts you thought yesterday.
Knowing this, you can start to make some choices about what to do with all those thoughts. You don’t have to engage with, listen to or take seriously every thought in this endless stream of thoughts; you can choose to simply acknowledge your brain at work.
Here are some ways to slow down:
Meditate. You knew this one was coming. The great thing about meditation is there are tons of resources online, from YouTube to apps like Calm, Headspace or Omvana — and you can choose a guided meditation, or you can find a quiet space to take a few deep breaths in and out and focus on your breathing. You’ll still notice thoughts creeping in; let them flow by as though leaves floating on a gentle stream and return your focus to your breathing. Like any practice, you’ll get better at not engaging with your thoughts over time.
Exercise. Burning off a little steam has benefits for the body and mind. I love yoga for the focus on breathing, surrendering and relaxing into the poses. Taking a spin or other exercise class might just as easily cause your mind to focus on one thing.
Create. You don’t have to be an artist to draw, paint or create — you could bake a cake (following a step-by-step recipe can focus your mind), grab some colored pencils and an adult coloring book, knit or crochet. Again, the idea is to focus your mind narrowly on the project in front of you.
Free write. Grab a pen and a notebook and just write. Write down everything on your mind. If it’s the tasks you have to remember to do, make yourself a list and then tell your brain it doesn’t need to remind you anymore. If you wrote something more like a story than a list, re-read it and notice whether you’re a victim, hero or something else in your story. Notice whether you’ve discovered unmet needs that you can meet for yourself or ask for help meeting from others. Consider re-writing the end so that the hero — you — prevails.
Metaphors and mental models. Imagine you’re barreling down an unknown road at 200 miles per hour. The landscape is flying by in a blur. You sense that you have little time to react or make decisions going this fast, and you feel out of control. Your hands are wrapped around the steering wheel in a death grip. You veer slightly out of your lane and hear the urgent sounds of your car’s tires on the rumble strip, which only heightens your alarm. Is that what it feels like when your mind is racing? Take a breath. Realize you’re in the driver’s seat. You can take your foot off the gas. Your car has a safety feature that gently brings you back into your lane as you lighten your grip on the wheel. You can remember this metaphor and “take your foot off the gas” to slow your brain down — or find another metaphor or mental model that works for you.
Other things that help:
- De-clutter. Often, our outside environment reflects our inner environment. Tidying up, cleaning or de-cluttering can help create a peaceful space in which we can focus or relax.
- Connect. Give your time to your mate, children, friend or even a pet. Focus on presence and let everything else wait. Daily walks with my rescue dog help keep me sane.
- Put down the phone. I’m as accustomed to multi-tasking as anyone, and guilty of playing games or checking email on my phone while watching a movie with the kids. Incorporating a practice of no electronics during meals and other designated times helps keep the endless newsfeed at bay. And unplugging 60-120 minutes before bedtime can improve your sleep.
As always, if you’d like help in creating a practice of quieting your mind and implementing more empowering habits, feel free to reach out for a complimentary discovery session.
(c) 2021 Angela Rae Bushman
Angela Rae Bushman 