I’ve been called to embark on a journey of forgiving the past and those who have hurt or wronged me, not lived up to my expectations or simply moved on.
When this calling came to me, I used my intuitive tools to come up with a list of 20 family members, exes, friends, and authority figures (teachers or bosses) — and, yes, God — who I also need to forgive. I then asked how many times I needed to forgive each person — one as many as 94 times!
My inner knowing guided me to make this a daily practice. I created a chart, so that I can cross off each day after my practice and track my progress. I also wanted to share this journey with you, as I believe it will lead to useful insights.
There are several resources and ways to practice forgiveness, and what I’ve discovered is working for me is to get into a meditative state, invite in the energy of forgiveness (“What would it take for me to embody forgiveness?”) and visualize each person I need to forgive in front of me one at a time. Then I use the same formula, “What would it take to forgive ___________ for ______________?” followed by a declarative statement: “____________, I forgive you for ______________.”
To share one example, as I invited in forgiveness on day one, I asked, “What would it take for me to forgive my high school superintendent for making an example of me for skipping school and placing me in detention?” Then, I heard my inner dialogue loudly add, “asshole!”, confirming that I have more forgiveness work to do.
As I got up from this first daily practice, I laughed as I realized I had failed to include myself in my list of people to forgive. Self forgiveness is essential to healing our pasts.
On day two, I asked, “What would it take to forgive my mother for her infidelity, lies, truths, reservedness, always being late and any other failings as a parent? Mom, I forgive you for your infidelity, lies, truths, reservedness, always being late and any other failings as a parent.”
And I had another insight. Forgiving myself meant seeing myself reflected in the experience. In other words, the energy I’ve allowed is energy I hold. I found myself following this with, “What would it take to forgive myself for my infidelity, lies, truths, reservedness, always being late and any other failings as a parent?”
For everyone on my list to forgive, I was able to find a reflected truth about myself in whatever I had charged them with. It was a deeply enlightening and profound realization, and enhances my feelings of connection and empathy for the human condition.
I anticipate I’ll have more to share on this practice in the coming weeks.
Follow my forgiveness journey: what forgiveness reveals (part 2), forgiving again (part 3)
(c) 2021 Angela Rae Bushman, all rights reserved
Angela Rae Bushman 
2 thoughts on “journey into forgiveness”